Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 136

Today's Daily 5:
  1. waking from dreams and having them spur prayer and understanding instead of fear and terror
  2. listening to music from my friend Karla Adolphe
  3. getting my favorite seat on the bus this morning
  4. connecting briefly with a few people at work today (kind of a skeleton crew, but I was glad to see a few people)
  5. 10 minute yoga

Reverb 10: Day 29 - Defining Moment

Today's Reverb 10 Prompt:

December 29 – Defining Moment

Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.

(Author: Kathryn Fitzmaurice)

I've struggled with how to answer this question, sitting here, staring at a blank post.  There are a few defining moments from this year that I can share here, but the far more profound ones are ones that are deeply personal, and not yet (and perhaps not ever) for public consumption.  Things that are private decisions I've made, that are dramatically shaping the landscape of my life.

On the very public front, a major defining moment was the sudden loss of my job.  It was never going to be a permanent job.  It was supposed to be my "work to pay bills until I figure out what I want to be when I grow up" job.  Losing it forced my hand on the "what do I want to be when I grow up" front.   It unexpectedly led to sensing God's leading and direction towards a career in nursing, and that has had dramatic impact on my life for the rather obvious reasons associated with a complete change of career.

I'm still staring at the screen, trying to wrap this up.  Wrestling with all of the thoughts around defining moments that the time is not ripe to share.  The personal defining moments have all been about decisions - decisions to value myself, to do things differently, to allow growth to happen in very unexpected ways.  And it's these moments that I really treasure.  It's those personal, internal defining moments that are giving flesh to the public ones like housing changes and job losses and new career directions.  Because it's the private moments that are shaping the character and spirit and emotion and voice that I lend to the public moments.

In the Office

I'm back at work today and tomorrow, fufilling the last two days of my temporary contract.

I can't quite express how much of a gift this job was in this season.

It was a gift in that it provided financially for me, but also in that, amidst all the things going on in my life that I can't talk about explicitly here, God knew I needed a distraction.  That another month of sitting around at home for most of each day wouldn't have worked.

It was a gift in that it was redemptive.  After a long season of working for an organization that was founded on Christian principles, but seemed to bend those as needed to allow for maximum profit, it has been incredibly redemptive to work for an organization that exists to meet very real and specific needs for the underprivileged in my city.  It's been a blessing to get to be the hands that met some of those needs.  It's been special to get to spread some tangible joy and relief, especially in the Christmas season when (even for me) those are so often lacking.

And so, I'm in the office today and tomorrow, doing administrative clean-up after the last month of crazyness.

And I'm thankful.

I'm making plans for Friday and next week (starting with a trip to the Canadian passport office early Friday morning), but mostly I'm enjoying a quieter day at the office, marking a few tasks off my list, and having some time to sit quietly and thank God for this job, and pray blessings on the organizations future, as well as begin to turn my heart toward my own future plans.