Saturday, December 18, 2010

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 125

Today's Daily 5:
(an introduction to the Daily 5 can be found here)
  1. waking from an odd dream that would have once fallen into the nightmare category and realizing that instead I found it weirdly fascinating and oddly funny more than anything else
  2. being caught up on the reverb 10 posts
  3. getting a ride to work
  4. getting to work with my brother T and his wife L today (fun that we could hire them)
  5. a really good appointment this afternoon that has left me pondering
  6. the smile of anticipation on the face of a father who confessed to me in broken English that he really should have brought his two daughters to choose for themselves, but he really wanted to surprise them for Christmas, and so he was there to pick the gifts out. (couple this with the joy of knowing that between us we helped him pick out gifts that his daughters will likely really enjoy.)
  7. watching episodes of Grey's from this year while I sat to make Christmas cards
  8. a great line from one of the episodes of Grey's:  "I'm not GI Jane!  I'm Attachment Barbie!"
  9. Christmas cards are now all made.  Just need to be written in and mailed.  Yes, they're going to arrive for new year's.  oh well.
  10. feeling safe - not always something I've experienced this year, and a gift to be able to rest quietly and easily each weekend on these little escapes to mom and dad's house.

Reverb 10: Day 18 - Try

Today's Reverb 10 Prompt:

December 18 – Try

What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it?

(Author: Kaileen Elise)

My list of goals for 2010 was completely and entirely derailed.  Life took crazy turn after crazy turn, and I didn't manage to complete almost anything on that list, including things like trying 2 new recipes a month, taking a real yoga class, oh, and seeing U2 live.

Next year I want to try to live deeply and fully - whatever twists life brings.

I want to settle into a new place.

I want to try cooking new things, and maybe even eating a few new things.  (Scallops, I'm going to try scallops.)

I still want to try taking a yoga class live and in person, instead of the video workouts I use.

So basically what I'm saying is that I want a "do over" on 2010's list of things to try.

I want to be more aware of my own needs.  That's a big thing for me to try to work on.

Oh, and I want to try to see U2 live.  That concert from 2010 that didn't happen has technically been rescheduled for 2011, so barring Bono having more unexpected back surgery, or more crazy life twists in my life, in 2011 I want to see U2 live in concert.

A few fun links

It's been a little while since I linked up to other bits and pieces, but here are just a few that have caught my attention in recent days:

While I'm not at all a fan of the trend in the last few years of putting "catchy" little pun type phrases on church signs, I have to admit that this one at Jesus Needs New PR did actually make me chuckle.  At least it was a little bit creative! (Or I thought so anyway, I hadn't seen that one before!)

I've written before about Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project, and I smiled at this post on her blog when I read it last night.  I think her advice to "treat yourself like a toddler" is advice that I'm going to keep in mind.  Because I think the whole "being a grownup" thing does cause us to ignore basic needs or things that make us happier, better functioning individuals, and thinking about the fact that everyone benefits when I am well cared for is helpful for me in a quest to be better at self-care.

Reverb 10: Day 17 - Lesson Learned

This is the last in my attempt to catch up! Tonight I'll be writing the prompt for today, in the meantime, here's yesterday's reverb10 prompt:

December 17 – Lesson Learned

What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

(Author: Tara Weaver)

I've learned this year that I am far more resilient and stronger and able to handle major changes in life than I gave myself credit for.

It's not just the physical stuff of circumstances either.  While I have weathered a car accident, the loss of a job that I'd had semi long-term, and a crazy living situation,  I've also weathered quite a lot of internal turmoil.  Deep wounds exposed.  Changing and shifting relationships.  Things settling into patterns that are new and entirely unexpected.

And if you had told me a year ago that I would be sitting here and feeling joyful (in fact, in many ways more joyful and at peace than I've ever been) after all of those things occurred, I would have told you you were crazy.  Nuts.  Loco.  That you'd lost it completely.

But here I am.  I've not only survived, I've occasionally thrived.

I'm getting better (though I'm by no means an expert, and I'd be very okay if I didn't have to practice any more for a while) at rolling with the punches life has thrown.

And in the midst of all of that, I've met Jesus in a way that amazes me.  When all those other things were stripped away, He was the constant, and I'm coming to know and love him deeply.  I can say today that I really do trust Him.  I think of Job, so desperate, in his misery, crying out, "I know that my Redeemer lives... and even if my flesh is destroyed, I'll see him.  I'll see him for myself.  With my own eyes."  I feel like I understand in an even greater way the deep hope and trust of Job's cry.  It's a passage that has always grabbed my heart, one that meant a lot in the many years of depression, but it's one that speaks even more deeply to me now, in this crazy year of deconstruction, but a year where my confidence that God is present and I will see him, with my own eyes, has grown in ways that words can't quite describe.

And that ability to trust, to adapt, to lean into Jesus as constant?  That's something I want to cultivate, to carry with me, to let bloom inside me in new ways as I move forward into the coming year.