Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 79

Today's Daily 5:
  1. really cute twin girls on the bus this morning, chorusing, "thank you bus driver" as they disembarked with their nanny
  2. a relatively good sleep last night for the first time in a while
  3. starting the morning slowly
  4. toast with butter and jam
  5. sunshine
  6. getting a few quick errands done
  7. reading on the bus again
  8. finishing a book
  9. my neck pillow
  10. a mug of rooibos tea in my own room, in a new mug I bought specifically for that purpose
  11. This quote from an old episode of Grey's Anatomy: "At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate."
  12. getting a bit of cleaning done
  13. watching escapist television and laughing as I realized that the book I'd just finished reading was causing me to talk back to the television in a very snarky tone
  14. candles lit around the room
  15. making a plan for the day, and actually accomplishing the tasks I set for myself
  16. talking politics as supper with mom and dad

Not About Me

A while ago a dear friend of me sent me a link to a post that Sarah Markley had written.  I loved the post, and immediately subscribed to Sarah's blog, and have been loving it ever since.

Late last week Sarah posted this post "It's SO not About Me".

And oh, boy, do I identify.

I work to hide it, and I rarely vocalize it, but I'm totally insecure.

If I haven't heard back from a friend about something, I do not immediately assume that they're busy or out of town.  My thoughts immediately go to, "I must have done something," or "they're avoiding me" or "I'm an obligation and they don't really want to spend time with me."

And then I talk myself down to "oh, they're really busy, or out of town or whatever."  Sort of successfully.

It's almost never totally successful until I actually hear from that person that they've been busy or away or whatever.

I liked Sarah's solution of offering grace.

Lately, the big lesson has been learning to offer that to myself. 

To have the security to believe that I am loved.  That my friends aren't friends with me because it's an obligation.  That I am surrounded by people who are loving on me, caring for me, and supporting me.

It's a lesson in grace - and a reminder "It's not about me."