Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Daily 5 - Day 210

Today's Daily 5:
  1. Pizza for lunch and supper courtesy work, and therefore free.
  2. Got a new watch battery, so hopefully I'm set for a while again.
  3. Banana Cream Pie (I know, it's made the list several times this week, but I bought a little 6" one on the weekend - a rare treat - and I've quite enjoyed it.)
  4. Remembered to take my pills with me today - quite astounding the difference they make
  5. Quiet evening, likely going to be in bed early(ish!)

Curled up in Bed

I'm catching the cold/sore throat that's been going around my office and family for a couple of months now.

Tonight's plan, after a quick stop at the library on the way home, is to shower, put on my pajamas, eat something for dinner, and then crawl into bed.  I plan to spend the evening in bed, resting, reading, watching some videos, catching up on some emails, playing a computer game.  But basically moving as little as possible.

Because I'm tired, and I'm trying really hard to not let this cold become the full blown thing.

And right now the best sounding idea in the world is an evening curled up in bed.

Start Again

By the time I went to bed last night, I was well and truly done.  Complete emotional and physical exhaustion.

My head is reminding me that I missed so many supplements yesterday, and that they make a huge difference in my ability to cope. 

My heart is reminding me that bad days happen, and that I can be gentle with myself and have a bad day (or several) without panicking that depression is returning.

That was a gift of insight that came over the weekend.  That the pulling inward and the self protection in the face of this hard transition are things I need to keep an eye on, but that having some really hard emotional days doesn't mean that depression is returning, and that I don't need to fear that pulling inward, those bad days.

It's sort of easier said than done.  But I'm trying.

At least I got a bit of sleep last night.  That I'm thankful for.

And our out of town staff is in the office this week, and the company is providing lunch for everyone - that's been nice too.

I visited with one of the wives of those staff members for a while this morning.  A sweet old colony Mennonite lady that I get to see once or twice a year.  It's always fun to chat with her.

This morning I managed to (mostly) set aside the things I've been worrying around in my mind the last few days while I was on the bus and focus on the worship music I was listening to.

So there are a few good things, and I'm choosing to focus on those.

Start again.

New mercies every morning.

That's what I'm reminding myself of.  And that's what I'm on the lookout for today.