Sunday, December 06, 2009

Daily 5 - Day 116

Today's Daily 5:
  1. Burning oil scented with myrrh in my bedroom
  2. Lighting two advent candles - hope and peace
  3. Mostly quiet afternoon and evening, home alone. The right amount of space today.
  4. Not finished with Christmas shopping, but likely done with trips to the mall, and the awful mall crowds.
  5. curled up for much of the day in a favorite sweat shirt, sweat pants, and wrapped in a blanket.
  6. doing lots of little domestic things, planning and getting a handle on the next few weeks
  7. trading a few teasing text messages with my brother J.
  8. Chinese food for lunch
  9. resting, and as such accommodating the exhaustion from yesterday in a way that was still enjoyable
  10. candles lit all around the room, a form of prayer for me.

Interesting Article on Depression

I found this article on the change in approach to treating depression in the UK to be quite fascinating.

The Path of Peace

This is a photo of the Advent wreath that is sitting on my dresser this year, an altar space of sorts for me.

It took a week longer than usual for the pull of Advent to really grab me this year, for the longing to deeply take hold within me. It wasn't until the last day or two that I really again began to feel the longing for a savior to come.

The first candle, the one in the front, I lit last Sunday for the first time. It's the "hope" candle.

The second candle, the one in the back, I lit tonight. It's the "peace" candle.

I lit both tonight, with music softly playing, and found myself staring at them, slowly contemplating how desperately in need of both hope and peace I've been feeling. How desperately I, and others around me are longing for those things to come.

I struggled to choose music to play as I lit the candles and prayed. I wanted a song about peace, but couldn't choose one that seemed appropriate, so I settled for "The Feast of Seasons" - the Christmas album that Steve Bell put out quite some time ago.

First, "The Magnificat," played:

my soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord
and my spirit exalts in God my saviour
for he has looked with mercy on my lowlinessI ha
and my name will be forever exalted
for the mighty God has done great things for me
and his mercy will reach from age to age
and holy, holy, holy is his name
and holy, holy, holy is his name.
(words and music by John Michael Talbot)

And then this song began to play:

I have not seen the angel Gabriel
standing at the right side of the altar
saying that important line of angels
"do not be afraid"

I have not heard the angel Gabriel
telling me my prayer has been answered
that my heart's desire has been granted
and my wife will bear a son

but I have been answered
and I have been promised
in words that cannot be broken
and the tender mercies of our God
have caused the rising sun
to shine upon us
to guide our feet
into the path of peace

I was not there
when the angel Gabriel
visited the village of Nazareth
home of a young maiden he addressed
as the highly favored one

I did not hear
the angel Gabriel
promise what could not be imagined
answered by a faith without fathom
"let what you have said be done"

but I have been answered
and I have been promised
in words that cannot be broken
and the tender mercies of our God
have caused the rising sun
to shine upon us
to guide our feet
into the path of peace.
(words and music by Jim Croegart)

Those words were both the reminder I needed and the voice of the cry of my heart tonight as I lit candles symbolizing hope and peace and thought of the lack of those things and the deep longing for them to come. I have been answered and promised... and in the tender mercy of God my feet and the feet of all those I love are being guided into the path of peace.

Amen. May it truly be done tonight and in this season.

Morning

I'm headed out within the hour.

A little bit of shopping to do in the early(ish) morning hours that the mall has extended it's hours to include for the Christmas season. Basically an attempt to avoid crowds.

And then one more cooking demonstration. Maybe. Not totally sure at this point if I'll go or not.

Then home.

With plans to hibernate in my bedroom.

To read.

To send a few emails.

To journal and think and pray.

To light the Advent wreath, and pause again to reflect.

To long for His coming, and being made new.