Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Daily 5 - Day 105

Today's Daily "5":
  1. I'm thankful for another night off from cooking, but still getting to eat a tasty homemade meal
  2. I'm thankful for insurance coverage that pays for the occasional massage, especially in weeks like this one where the hour of relaxation it provides is truly a blessing
  3. I'm thankful that I made it through the day relatively in-tact. There were a lot of moments when I wasn't sure that that was going to happen
  4. I'm thankful that every day will not always be this hard.
  5. I'm thankful that my heart is slowly in a place of being softened, every so slowly again, for others who are hurting and broken
  6. I'm thankful for music and lyrics that move my heart, or simply stir laughter or joy
  7. I'm thankful for morning drives to work that are being spent memorizing scripture with the help of an audio bible
  8. I'm thankful for the first 10 or 15 minutes each morning when I arrive early at the office, and sit and journal thoughts from the day before, pondering dreams, and plans looking at the day ahead
  9. I'm thankful for the various books I've read lately and am reading currently, and for the way they're stirring my heart to new things again.
  10. I'm thankful, too, for the renewed desire to read. For the little bit of discipline that is restoring attention span and reminding me again why I have always been moved by the written word.

Because I Needed a Chuckle Today

I came across this joke this morning, and it provided a much needed chuckle, so I thought I'd share.

Ready… Aim...

A bishop, a priest, and a deacon, were about to be executed for preaching the Gospel in a foreign land.

They bring out the bishop first and the guard shots, “Ready… aim…” and suddenly the bishop yells, “EARTHQUAKE!” When everyone looks around, the bishop runs off.

Next they bring out the priest. They guard shouts, “Ready… aim…” and suddenly the priest yells, “TORNADO!” When everyone ducks, the priest runs off.

By then, of course, the deacon had it figured out. They bring him out and when the guard shouts, “Ready… aim…,” suddenly the deacon yells, “FIRE!”

Going to Fight for It

Yesterday was actually a fairly decent day at work.

But I really, really fought for that.

I don't think I realized how hard I fought for it until I stepped out of the building at the end of the day, breathed a sigh of relief, and almost melted into a puddle of tears and exhaustion.

I slept restlessly again last night, and I'm even more tired today.

I had a bit of a shock when I woke up this morning, that made me catch my breath, and spun me just a little.

I'm going to fight for another good day.

I know after yesterday that it's a battle I CAN win.

But it's a bit more of an overwhelming thought today.

There is none of yesterday's blind determination today.

Just the knowing that it is indeed an incredible fight.

And I will fight for it.

But the very thought makes me want to melt in a puddle of tears.

I don't realize all the time just how exhausting the process of changing thought patterns is. How hard it is to make choice after choice after choice to see the world differently from that which is the most natural and habitual way of seeing for me.

Or just how draining it is to keep all of the negative energy, the anger, tension and stress that floats around my office from affecting me.

Or how I get tired of working my butt off without being thanked.

You know those "love language" things? I'm totally a words of affirmation and gifts girl. Someone thanking me or offering a compliment or a word of encouragement really does make an incredible difference in my day. Someone seeing how hard I'm fighting and taking the time to comment really does give strength for the battle. And, while I'm working on finding that true affirmation primarily in Jesus, that identity and worth only in Him, those words of encouragement still really do help.

Thankfully I don't see every day how difficult it is to do all those things differently, to see and think and choose and be different.

So, here I go.

I'm going to fight for it.

We'll see how it goes.