Thursday, July 23, 2009

Shifting

This has been the sort of week where I'm very aware of changing relationships.

Of ones that seem to have ended (whether that was what I desired or not).

Of others that have changed dramatically in time and tone and scope.

Where I've been remembering still others, lost in memories and prayers at moments.

Where every thing, every place, every moment seems laden with things that tug at heart strings.

I hit a wall of exhaustion today. A moment in which I simply went, "I need a vacation."

We have a long weekend coming up, but I will be spending it in transit to and from a wedding that will also be rife with memories and oddly shifted or tense relationships.

The weekend following that I've arranged for two days (a Friday and a Monday) off work. I badly need some down time. Time just for me, to rest and recoup. Time that (mostly) isn't planned, organized, or otherwise structured. Time where I can simply ask Jesus what we're doing, and spend the day with Him, being loved. Time to consider, to grieve, to recoup after all of the shifting that has taken place in my life this last while. And time to wait for new direction for the future.

I'm really looking forward to that weekend. But, for the moment, I'll just be glad to make it to the end of the work day tomorrow, and have some down time. This weekend is a bit scheduled and planned, with lots of people things that are sure to be a bit draining. But I'm working to also build in moments of rest. There always need to be moments of rest.

A Mixture of Things...

I'm thinking a lot about this verse today. It's the putting it into practice bit that can be so challenging at times.

Yesterday was the feast day for Saint Mary Magdalene. I feel a certain affinity for this woman who was delivered from much. Who knew deeply what the redemption offered by Jesus. I don't really mind whether or not it was her that annointed the feet of Jesus. The very fact that he had cast seven demons from her tells me that she knows what it is to experience the gift of freedom. And I love that, of all the people, important and simple, to whom he could have first appeared after his resurrection, it was this woman that he chose.

The First Nations have chosen a new national chief, and I am praying for him as he seeks to lead.

This article was curious and caught my attention.

I survived the driving lesson, and now need to book my advanced road test. At $130.00 a pop, I'm really hoping to pass this thing on the first go-round. Especially since the license renewal fee will be above and beyond that $130.

Because I work in the same building as a major charity, that my company is also partnered with, we occasionally get unique visitors. Today we had a group of Mennonite pastors from Asia - Malaysia, Thailand, Cambodia and North Vietnam, who are touring Mennonite institutions stop by the office for a few minutes. I'm always thankful for the reminders of the world that working in this building brings.

And with that, I'm back to the things that need my attention. This remains one of the weeks wherein I am helplessly busy all day every day, and yet feel like I've accomplished very little. Ah well. I guess they just go that way sometimes.

Sky

The skies are odd today. Heavy and hazy and discolored. A color that belies the weather forecast for the day. Sunny and 27 degrees.

The sort of color that speaks of violence. It speaks of fires burning somewhere distant, swallowing land and forests, and sometimes houses, belongings, the stuff of people's lives. It speaks of threatening storms. Of hail and tornadoes and lighting strikes. And through the haze, the sun glowed bright red, just sort of hanging there listlessly.

The air hangs like that too. Thick and hot. Midsummer doldrums hanging over us.

And I am once again praying for rain and cooling and refreshing.