Wednesday, July 22, 2009

How it is when we praise you...

From another prayer by Walter Bruggemann...

That is how it is when we praise you. We join the angels in praise, and we keep our feet in time and place... awed to heaven, rooted in earth. We are daily stretched between communion with you and our bodied lives, spent but alive, summoned and cherished but stretched between. And we are reminded that before us there has been this One truly divine (at ease with the angels) truly human...dwellers in time and space. We are thankful for him, and glad to be in his missional company. Alleluia. Amen.

(Awed to Heaven, Rooted in Earth, pg. 86)

All Over Thoughts

This has been the kind of week where I've been hopelessly busy all day, every day at the office, and still feel like I've accomplished almost nothing.

A friend brought several of us at the office flowers this morning, since there's been quite a bit of stress going around the office since the launch of a new product last week. I have a bouquet of white daisies smiling at me from a canning jar on my desk today.

Whatever stomach bug I'd contracted over the weekend seems to have settled down, and I'm grateful for that. Eating is much more pleasurable when you don't immediately feel fairly violently ill after doing so.

I'm taking a driving lesson tonight. Yes, you read that correctly. Alberta has a graduated driver's license system in place, where, two years after you begin driving, you become eligible to take an advanced road test to earn a license free from conditions. (The major condition is that without taking the advanced road test, you must have a 0 blood alcohol limit - so, basically, no wine or drinks at dinner if you're going to be on the road again.) I've been eligible to take the advanced road test for a number of years, but have never bothered to do it. However, my drivers license expires on my upcoming birthday, and rather than pay to renew the license, and then pay the fee to upgrade it, I thought I'd simply do it all at once and only pay one fee. So, I booked a refresher driving lesson, to review what will be covered on the advanced road test and make sure there aren't any surprises.

There have been all sorts of office frustrations the last few weeks, mostly stemming from the launch of the new product, and from the fact that certain people seem to have a strong sense of selish entitlement. I suppose that could be said of everyone, everywhere to some extent, but it's been rather blatant in a few frustrating (and ultimately expensive) incidents the last little while.

My roommate likes to tell me that I work in a soap opera. There are a lot of days that I think it's true. Soap opera writers couldn't dream up crazier situations than some of what I've encountered the last few months and years.

But, for the most part I remain grateful to have a job that pays my bills. And I'm definitely grateful for the new position I moved into about three months back. I'm still enjoying what I get to do in that position, and the freedom that it brings.

And with that, I'm off to finish up a few last things before the day ends and I have to head out for this two hour driving lesson!

92 days

Many of you will know that I have struggled greatly with my health in this last year and a half.

Some of you will know that those struggles were at least in part stress related, and were closely tied to my ability to eat. I felt nauseous most of the time, and it was not uncommon for me to skip one or two meals a day several times a week, or to eat very minimally to avoid the seemingly inevitable nausea and stomach pain that eating brought. At least once a month this would progress to stomach flu like symptoms, involving vomiting, or the complete inability to keep food down for several days in a row. All of this in combination with a number of periods of time where I felt God calling me to fast from various foods or to fast totally for short periods of time, resulted in a significant degree of weight loss and contributed at least in part to the ongoing challenges I've been facing with my energy levels as well. It could probably safely be said that I'd developed a mild eating disorder.

Just over three months ago I flew across the country to visit a dear friend. I knew I wasn't doing okay, and warned her of that in advance. She spoke a great deal of very blunt (and much needed) truth to me, and sent me home with instructions to "choose life" and directions to eat three meals a day even if I felt sick (a revolutionary concept for someone who hadn't regularly eaten breakfast since elementary school, never mind the other food challenges) to take lots of vitamins (I think the count is currently at around 17 pills a day) and a number of other things.

I'll be honest and say that if anyone but her had given me those directions, I'd have probably ignored them. And that I was less than motivated to comply, especially with the eating thing. In fact, I used stickers on a calendar as a stab at motivation to eat three times a day (eat three times a day - get a sticker!).

Eating remains a challenge. Stress still affects my stomach in odd ways. But, I reached a milestone a few days back that I'm rather proud of.

Monday marked 90 straight days of eating three full meals a day, whether or not I was feeling ill. (That, for those of you who are counting, makes today day 92).

Labyrinth

Okay, how cool is this? (link via shallowfrozenwater)

I walked a labyrinth for the first time on Maundy Thursday this year. A friend had invited me to join her for a dinner and evening of prayer and reflection using a labyrinth at a local church. She sometimes goes to their permanently installed labyrinth during the week to walk and pray.

In discussing my thoughts afterwards, I commented that I was really in far too scattered a place emotionally and spiritually that evening to truly experience what I was doing, but even in the midst of that, in the midst of the walking, bits and pieces of Jesus' peace penetrated. I told her that I thought, given adequate preparation beforehand, time to quiet myself a little and to really desire to meet Jesus (I'll be honest in saying that in my scattered state that evening all I really wanted to do was go home to bed), I felt that walking a labyrinth could be a truly meaningful prayer experience for me.

So I loved the video I linked to at the beginning of this post when I came across it. Because I also love to walk near waves and pray. A labyrinth on a beach sounds kind of like my idea of heaven! Very cool!

A Few Headlines

A few news stories stirring my heart this morning:

Trying to Come to Terms with Mass Slaughter

Longest 21st Century Eclipse Wows Millions

California Apologizes to Chinese Americans

Tori Stafford's Body Found

First Nations to Vote for National Chief