Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Is it really only Tuesday?

It seems like the last several days have been full, and I find myself asking if it's possible that it's really only Tuesday evening, that there is still a lot of week left to go.

The week has included the following:
  • news that a routine surgery for someone I know has turned out to be significantly more complicated, and that instead of the expected day surgery and quick recovery that was planned when he went in last week, he will be hospitalized for at least 10 days or so still.
  • the news that someone (who I knew thought this way, but didn't think would be brazen enough to actually come out and say it) considers themselves to be a "better Christian" than a number of us who work with them.
  • a prayer time at the office, which was surprising in it's sincerity, and surprising in who chose to attend
  • a long list of "to do's"
  • some complications that mean that next week at the office will likely be a bit hairy
  • the usual list of things that are on my mind and heart, and generally causing hurt
  • a much felt cry for freedom
  • learning that my credit card had been compromised, and needed to be canceled and replaced
  • some cleaning
  • watching a conversation develop between two connections from long ago
  • and so much more.
It's only Tuesday, and the vagueness of the blogging world can't quite do it justice... but it's been crazy. Just waiting to see what the coming days will bring :)

The Breastplate Prayer

I've loved St. Patrick's Breastplate prayer for years, and it seems appropriate to share it here on St. Patrick's Day!

I bind unto myself today
The strong name of the Trinity,
By invocation of the same,
The Three in One and One in Three.

I bind this day to me for ever,
By power of faith, Christ's Incarnation;
His baptism in the Jordan River;
His death on cross for my salvation;
His bursting from the spicèd tomb;
His riding up the heavenly way;
His coming at the day of doom;
I bind unto myself today.

I bind unto myself the power
Of the great love of the Cherubim;
The sweet 'Well done' in judgment hour;
The service of the Seraphim,
Confessors' faith, Apostles' word,
The Patriarchs' prayers, the Prophets' scrolls,
All good deeds done unto the Lord,
And purity of virgin souls.

I bind unto myself today
The virtues of the starlit heaven,
The glorious sun's life-giving ray,
The whiteness of the moon at even,
The flashing of the lightning free,
The whirling wind's tempestuous shocks,
The stable earth, the deep salt sea,
Around the old eternal rocks.

I bind unto myself today
The power of God to hold and lead,
His eye to watch, His might to stay,
His ear to hearken to my need.
The wisdom of my God to teach,
His hand to guide, his shield to ward,
The word of God to give me speech,
His heavenly host to be my guard.

Against the demon snares of sin,
The vice that gives temptation force,
The natural lusts that war within,
The hostile men that mar my course;
Or few or many, far or nigh,
In every place and in all hours
Against their fierce hostility,
I bind to me these holy powers.

Against all Satan's spells and wiles,
Against false words of heresy,
Against the knowledge that defiles,
Against the heart's idolatry,
Against the wizard's evil craft,
Against the death-wound and the burning
The choking wave and the poisoned shaft,
Protect me, Christ, till thy returning.

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me,
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

I bind unto myself the name,
The strong name of the Trinity;
By invocation of the same.
The Three in One, and One in Three,
Of whom all nature hath creation,
Eternal Father, Spirit, Word:
Praise to the Lord of my salvation,
salvation is of Christ the Lord.

Not Breaking the Bruised Reeds

I was deeply struck by this thought from Henri Nouwen that arrived in my inbox today. Partly because I've talked often with a dear friend about the passage in scripture that says "A bruised reed he will not break" but also because, through years of depression, and again through this last year when life has been painful and messy, I've often been dismissed out of hand.

I know what it is to be "the depressed one" or the "broken one" whom everyone assumes has nothing to contribute to the world. The one whom God has forgotten, who needs to be made whole before she can be part of community again.

It reminded me too, to be grateful for those people who have seen beyond the woundedness and modelled the compassionate life and true community for me. People like James, and Shelley, my brother T and his girlfriend, and my roommates. So, today, I'm thanking them, and reminding myself to continue to see beyond the brokenness and look for the beauty in others.

Not Breaking the Bruised Reeds

Some of us tend to do away with things that are slightly damaged. Instead of repairing them we say: "Well, I don't have time to fix it, I might as well throw it in the garbage can and buy a new one." Often we also treat people this way. We say: "Well, he has a problem with drinking; well, she is quite depressed; well, they have mismanaged their business...we'd better not take the risk of working with them." When we dismiss people out of hand because of their apparent woundedness, we stunt their lives by ignoring their gifts, which are often buried in their wounds.

We all are bruised reeds, whether our bruises are visible or not. The compassionate life is the life in which we believe that strength is hidden in weakness and that true community is a fellowship of the weak.

The Virtue of Flexibility

and again from Henri Nouwen...

The Virtue of Flexibility

Trees look strong compared with the wild reeds in the field. But when the storm comes the trees are uprooted, whereas the wild reeds, while moved back and forth by the wind, remain rooted and are standing up again when the storm has calmed down.

Flexibility is a great virtue. When we cling to our own positions and are not willing to let our hearts be moved back and forth a little by the ideas or actions of others, we may easily be broken. Being like wild reeds does not mean being wishy-washy. It means moving a little with the winds of the time while remaining solidly anchored in the ground. A humorless, intense, opinionated rigidity about current issues might cause these issues to break our spirits and make us bitter people. Let's be flexible while being deeply rooted.

An Honest Being-With

another challenging thought from Henri Nouwen. I particularly like the last paragraph.

An Honest Being-With

Being with a friend in great pain is not easy. It makes us uncomfortable. We do not know what to do or what to say, and we worry about how to respond to what we hear. Our temptation is to say things that come more out of our own fear than out of our care for the person in pain. Sometimes we say things like "Well, you're doing a lot better than yesterday," or "You will soon be your old self again," or "I'm sure you will get over this." But often we know that what we're saying is not true, and our friends know it too.

We do not have to play games with each other. We can simply say: "I am your friend, I am happy to be with you." We can say that in words or with touch or with loving silence. Sometimes it is good to say: "You don't have to talk. Just close your eyes. I am here with you, thinking of you, praying for you, loving you."