Friday, April 25, 2008

With an openness of heart...

I came across this quote from Douglas Coupland's book "Life After God" tonight and found it quite profoundly descriptive of where I'm at at the moment.

I've really quite wanted in this last season to just walk away from God. To give up because it hurt too much to follow him. And yet, I haven't been able to walk away. And in the midst of that space I came across this quote.

“Now - here is my secret:
I tell it to you with an openness of heart
that I doubt I shall ever achieve again,
so I pray that you are in a quiet room as you hear these words.
My secret is that I need God –
that I am sick and can no longer make it alone.
I need God to help me give, because I no longer seem to be capable of giving;
to help me be kind, as I no longer seem capable of kindness;
to help me love, as I seem beyond being able to love”

(original source of the quote is here.)

2.5 Hours to Go

I'm really glad it's Friday.

I need this week to end.

A couple days break from my office.

Rest and relaxation.

Today has been more of a challenge than usual in some ways. The coworker with whom I laugh and vent about the ridiculous working situation we find ourselves in is out of the office. It's very patience stretching.

I did, however, have an encouraging conversation with my boss, who once again assured me that she is very aware of the difficulties of our present situation, and keeping a close eye on it. And, that she has some of the same frustrations I and others have expressed.

It's always nice when the people in charge are actually clued in.

Okay. 2 and a half hours left.

I can do this!

Secret Smile

She smiled the secret smile of one who found deep inner amusement that few would understand.

Henri Nouwen on Questions

The Answer to Our Questions

We spend a lot of time and energy raising questions. Is it worth it? It is always good to ask ourselves why we raise a question. Do we want to get useful information? Do we want to show that someone else is wrong? Do we want to conquer knowledge? Do we want to grow in wisdom? Do we want to find a way to sanctity?

When we ponder these questions before asking our questions, we may discover that we need less time and energy for our questions. Perhaps we already have the information. Perhaps we don't need to show that someone is wrong. For many questions we may learn that we already have the answers, at least if we listen carefully to our own hearts.