Wednesday, April 09, 2008

It Won't Leave Me Alone

The image just won’t leave me alone.

She was lying facedown, perfectly still, on the edge of the street, in a pool of her own blood. I didn’t stop as I walked by – she was being tended to by three policemen and the paramedics were just arriving. The blood was garish and almost fake, reminding me of a child’s bright red tempera paints.

She wasn’t dirty, ragged, homeless. None of the things you would expect in a woman spotted in a pool of her own blood across the street from a corner commonly referred to as “crack alley”. Her jacket was khaki green, and contrasted with the dark pavement and bright red blood.

I walked by, but the image won’t leave me alone.

I’ve walked by that spot several times since. There’s little to indicate that someone lay there in the midst of an emergency less than a week ago. A dark, off-color stain remains on the pavement, looking more like a spill of oil from passing traffic than a remnant of the brassy blood that she lay in.

The image won’t leave me alone.

Being Handed Over to Suffering - Henri Nouwen

Another thought from Henri Nouwen

Being Handed Over to Suffering

People who live close together can be sources of great sorrow for one another. When Jesus chose his twelve apostles, Judas was one of them. Judas is called a traitor. A traitor, according to the literal meaning of the Greek word for "betraying," is someone who hands the other over to suffering.

The truth is that we all have something of the traitor in us because each of us hands our fellow human beings over to suffering somehow, somewhere, mostly without intending or even knowing it. Many children, even grown-up children, can experience deep anger toward their parents for having protected them too much or too little. When we are willing to confess that we often hand those we love over to suffering, even against our best intentions, we will be more ready to forgive those who, mostly against their will, are the causes of our pain.