Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Good Evening

I have had an absolutely good evening. I just thought I'd share that.

Little things, that all together made for lots of satisfaction.

I made pancakes for supper - shrove Tuesday and all that. Not actually really a breakfast eater - can't remember the last time I had pancakes (probably when Kari still lived in Calgary and we met for breakfast, or maybe that random evening after church last spring at Deb's house with Chad and Janna, Jenn, and Stu...?). Anyway, I made them all by myself, which I was quite proud of, and they tasted quite lovely.

I also returned all of the novels I'd previously borrowed from the library, and picked up some reading material.

Watched a bit of Joan of Arcadia that Kari sent home with me the last time I visited.

Cleaned my bedroom up a bit so I can now once again sit in my chair to read.

Browsed through Christian publications and found a few deals, and a few books that weren't really deals, but will hopefully be worth the purchase.

Had a small victory when I drove through the intersection where I had my accident in December for the first time. (Not that I've been avoiding it, but I have thought about it now and then - it just happens to be somewhere where I don't normally drive on a regular basis).

Came home, accomplished several things on a to do list that have needed doing for a while now.

Also created a list of book options for reading in place of novels during Lent. My book purchasing seems to have gotten out of hand. When I make up lists of this sort, I categorize by, "books I own," "books I've borrowed" and "books from the library." Last time I made up this sort of reading list, I had less than half a page of books I owned that I hadn't read, or had started but never finished. Seems that list has now grown to a full page and a bit. And then there were still the other two categories of books. However, the list does make me excited. Can't wait to dive in and challenge my brain and feed my soul in this manner.

And with that, I'm off to read in bed. (Hopefully without falling asleep TOO quickly tonight!)

On the agenda for tomorrow? Lunch with a friend, hanging out with Megs and catching up (three months apart is a REALLY long time), prepping for girl's Bible study this weekend, and possibly learning about the wonder that is "Skype".

And the night after that? RASCAL FLATTS with Tim!

Dulled and heightened

I’m fuzzy this morning.

Seems exhaustion has heightened some senses and dulled others. I am finely attuned to the spiritual at the moment. I hear and sense things that I do not normally. I feel deeply the presence of Christ, and also the ongoing attacks of the enemy. The dreams are relentless, though I’m retaining fewer of them lately. I wake each morning several hours before my alarm from a deep sleep, and then sleep again, but I dream, toss and turn, and am generally restless.

At the same time, I feel physically and mentally dull and listless. That sense where concentration seems just beyond your grasp, your head feels cloudy, and all you really want to do is crawl back into bed.

I think I’m getting sick, too. I’ve been fighting a bit of a head cold, and it seems to be getting a bit worse just presently. Other indications include a complete inability to warm my extremities – my fingers and toes are constantly cold, and even my core feels chilled.

The longings of my heart are being pulled incessantly lower. To community. To justice. To the broken, the vulnerable, the humble. I am learning what a large risk it is to live in a truly vulnerable way. The cry of my heart is for ever increasing freedom.