Saturday, August 26, 2006

Slow typing

This is going to be short for two reasons. The first is that I'm going to spend some time reading, curled up with a new history of Christianity that I bought at a used bookstore the other day (a steal for only $22, and a huge volume written by a preminent Catholic theologian and historian) and a novel. The second is exactly what the title of this post says. I'm typing a little slow at the moment as I somehow have managed to sprain my right index finger, and it's in a splint that impedes my typing abilities.

I made a major decision regarding my church future this week, and sent an email notifying the appropriate person of the decision. I did it in the heat of a moment filled with frustration, and hurt, but it was a long time coming, and, to be honest, I'm just relieved that it's over. We'll have to wait and see how things play out the next while. It was necessary.

I think I'm coming into myself a little bit more all the time. At least I hope so. I feel a renewed sense of boldness. A confidence in the things I believe God has been speaking to me, and a willingness to more clearly and broadly express my concerns. I will probably never be the one speaking controversy in the midst of a crowd - it's more my style to address issues in small groups or one on one. But I feel emboldened to fight the silence I have lived under for much of these last months. I was reminded, as I wrote the email this week of something a friend wrote in an email to encourage me months ago as I was first beginning to express some concerns and to share the things I felt God showing me. He wrote that I had come out from under the blanket of heaviness, and I wouldn't allow anyone to put me back under it. That I had emerged, broken through, and now it was time to live that way. I hope that I'm living that now. I'm excited and scared for what's ahead, but I feel God's presence.

And so, my finger is aching, and I'm looking forward to reading, so I'm off. See you all soon!