Friday, November 25, 2005

Calling

I was thinking a bit this morning about the idea of "calling". In one month I will graduate from university, and have to begin "real life."

I have set aside the year and a half or so following the completion of my university degree to just chill. My intention is to spend time with my friends and family. To work and pay down some of my student loans. To possibly travel (Mexico and Ukraine are two of the possibilities in the new year). To get to know God more, and let Him work and bring healing in my life. To figure out where to go next.

That last one is the big one. I know that I want to pursue more schooling. My history degree won't get me much of a job I don't think. (Although I wouldn't trade one minute of the education I've received - I've loved it, and I continue to be passionate about the subject.) The trouble is, I don't know what to study.

I have a huge number of passions, and any one of them could be a career. Take writing - since God started moving in my life again, I've re-fallen in love with the written word. I plan to devote some of my year to developing my writing (for my personal enjoyment, but if I happen to publish some stuff, or make some money off of it, that would be great too.) I know that God is calling me to serve him with my life, but I'm so unclear on what that's supposed to look like. He's given me a heart for the broken and hurting - especially women and girls. I could do a master's in counselling, and would probably enjoy the work. The practical reality is that counselling would be a degree that would pay bills for me. Or I could pursue my fascination with church history, or theology, and do a master's in one of those subjects. But, the reality is that there is not a high demand for church historians, or for women with post-graduate degrees in theology. And I already have one semi-useless on a practical scale degree. I would like to be able to afford a car someday (although that is a goal for the year off too), and I would like to move from my parent's home sooner rather than later.

I am waiting here, God, for you to direct my steps. Where do I go, and what do I do? You can't just call me to serve you with my life, and leave me hanging. Guide my path, direct my mind and heart, and teach me to discern your guidance.