Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Good Intentions...

I had such good intentions of devoting all my time today to studying and writing for school, and to not blogging. But, the combination of waking up at least five times last night while sleeping on the floor in the basement, being roused at 6:30 am when my brother turned lights on right in my eyes because he didn't think about the fact that I was sleeping on the floor right there, and then being woken up once and for all at just before 8 by my parents returning from where they're spending nights during this mess and the arrival of the contractor for the floors who immediately put both his industrial strength vacuum and his power sander to use meant that I was up early with nothing planned until meeting at friend for lunch, shopping, and studying at 11am. Plus, I killed an inch long centipede that was crawling across the basement carpet, and now I'm squirming in my clothes, wondering what may have taken up residence in them while they lay on the floor as I slept last night!

So, I watched a couple episodes of M*A*S*H* (why am I the only person who appreciates the brilliance of this series so much?), and then remembered some quotes I came accross yesterday in class, and wanted to pass on. Therefore, without further ado, I present, Lisa's random list of thoughts and quotes for the day!

First, some lines by Immanuel Kant:
If I have a book that thinks for men, a pastor who acts as my conscience, a physician who prescribes my diet, and so on - then I have no need to exert myself. I have no need to think, if only I can pay; others will take care of that disagreeable business for me.
How true... and how easy to accept this kind of complacency that creeps into my life... This book tells me what is true... that person tells me why it is true... this person nags me to eat properly... that person is more than happy to tell me what to believe about this or that... and I let them all, losing myself in the process, and allowing my life to become one of complacency - they order and I step to it. Now, I suppose I'm exaggerating, but, as I sat in class and read this philosopher yesterday, and listened to the discussion of how his contributions to Enlightment philosophy affected the Christian faith, I couldn't help but be struck by the truth of this particular statement.

Second, some lines from Voltaire - same class, same discussion, different point! Voltaire is commenting on why religion is bad - namely, he believes it breeds fanaticism, and he cites some very strong examples to prove his case. However, the following statement caught my attention and made me laugh a bit...
What can we say to a man who tells you that he would rather obey God than men, and that therefore he is sure to go to heaven for butchering you?
Voltaire's words ring true centuries later, in an era of suicide bombers who are promised eternal blessings for taking the lives of those who believe differently than themselves.

Finally, I've been reading a book entitled "Mudhouse Sabbath" by Lauren Winner. In it, she looks at a number of practices common to both Judaism and Christianity, and suggests that, perhaps, Christians have much to learn from Jews in areas such as hospitality, mourning, prayer and fasting. It's a fascinating book, but I want to share one paragraph or so from the chapter on hospitality, because it adds to the discussion of building community that has been circling through some of my thoughts here, and through blogs I've been reading, and conversations I've been having.

Winner is discussing the fact that she rarely invites people to her apartment - citing the mess and the lack of space among other reasons. Then, in a moment of vulnerabilty, she writes:
I don't find inviting people into my life much easier than inviting them into my apartment. At it's core, I think, cultivating an intimacy in which people can know and be known requires being honest - practicing that other Christian discipline of telling the truth about where we live and how we got there. Often, I'd rather dissemble. Often, just as I'd rather welcome guests into a cozy and cute apartment worthy of "Southern Living", I'd rather show them a Lauren who is perfect and put-together and serene. Often, telling the truth feels absurd...So you see that asking people into my life is not so different from asking them into my apartment. Like my apartment, my interior life is never going to be wholly respectable, cleaned up, and gleaming. But that is where I live. In the certitude of God, I ought to be able to risk issuing the occasional invitation. (Mudhouse Sabbath, 51,53)
How stunningly true. Most days, I don't want to invite people into my life either. I've been thinking about this yesterday and today, and it added to my sleepless state last night. There have been people I have invited into my life at various times in the last weeks and years, and, when they began to speak truth, to accept that invitation to come into my life, I have pulled away. Most days I don't want to hear the truth they have to speak - it is too painful, too messy, too far from that "put-together" image of myself that I would love to project. And yet, I tossed and turned last night in the knowledge that I needed to engage some truths a dear friend spoke, and I woke this morning knowing even more deeply that I need the input of these people to survive these next days and months, to find the healing I crave, the peace that seems so elusive.